There's a group of people on Twitter who started writing really short stories ("Flash Fiction") every Friday. See #fridayflash and since I'm on vacation I decided to participate this week!

I think this story feels a bit rushed, but I was trying to stick reasonably close to the guideline of about 1000 words.

Enjoy :)

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The Academy Bijou

In my second and third years of university I lived with another guy in an apartment block on Academy Road. Technically we were in River Heights, but further down, away from the nice end. Next to us was the Academy Bijou, which we used to say was the worst movie theatre in Winnipeg. Not that we'd even been there. We were basing this solely on its appearance.

When I was a kid, I read a comic about how these American soldiers found a lone Japanese soldier on a tiny island in the Pacific. It was fifteen years after World War Two but the Japanese guy had no idea the war was over and started shooting at the Americans.

That's what the Academy Bijou was like. Pretty much all the other small theatres had shut down, killed off by the big fifteen screen mega-theatres. They only ran movies that played all the time on television anyway and didn't even put up posters. They just had one of those portable signs with interchangeable plastic letters. This one week they were running a double bill of Breakfast Club and Aliens and some kids rearranged it to read "Alien Ass Lube".

We had no idea how they stayed in business.

The first time I went to a show there, it was in the middle of November on one of those days where the sky can't decide if it wants to rain or snow so it dumps this wet slush on you. I was coming home from a mid-term and just as I was stepping up the front steps of my building I realized I'd left my keys on the table in the exam room. I'd emptied my pockets out looking for my student ID card and forgot to grab them on my way out. Just to be sure, I patted down my pockets thoroughly and then cursed out loud.

My roommate wasn't due home for hours and the nearest coffee shop was six blocks west. I looked around and saw the Bijou's sign. They were playing Ghostbusters 2. They couldn't even play the good Ghostbusters movie.

I sighed and went in.

Inside the ticket booth was a bored looked teenager. She sat in the booth resting her head on one hand and thumbed through a magazine.

"One please."

"Three dollars," she said with a yawn. She was an Asian kid and wore braces.

At least their prices were reasonable.

"I'll take some popcorn too, please."

"We don't sell popcorn. My grandfather says coconut oil is horrible for you."

"Why not get an air popper?"

"Grandpa thinks air popped popcorn tastes like shit. I can nuke you some instant noodles. They're a dollar."

"No thanks."

Inside the theatre there were, like, five people. An old couple was sitting in the very front row. A guy in a UPS uniform was snoring near the back, his legs draped over the seat in front of him and there was a woman in her twenties maybe who was doing a crossword puzzle.

Before the show started, this old Asian guy walked onto the stage in front of the screen. I mean, he wasn't ancient but his hair was all grey and white. He had a bit of a British accent.

"Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to our matinee. How about while watching this wonderful movie you think about what you need, or what makes you happy? Enjoy the show!"

He walked off stage and a few minutes later the movie started. There were no previews. What I needed or what made me happy? My keys would have been fantastic. I dozed off right around the part where the lawyer from Ally McBeal was going nuts and trying to kidnap Sigourney Weaver's baby.

On the way out, the girl said to me, "Hey Martin, these your keys?"

"How did you know my name?"

"It's on this War Amps keytag. You looked like the only Martin in there."

I looked at the keys she held out and said, "Those aren't my keys."

"What? You aren't Martin Ducroix?"

"Well, I am, but that's not the set of keys I lost today."

The set she was holding had a little plastic Snoopy bobblehead attached to it and my War Amps keytag. I'd lost that set in Brussels five years ago. The set I left at school was just four keys on a plain metal ring.

Just then, the old guy came out of the theatre with a broom over one shoulder.

"You messed up, grandpa. Wrong keys," she said.

"Messed up? Those aren't his keys?"

They both turned and looked at me.

"Uhh. Well they're mine I guess. But they're an old set. Not the ones I need."

"Hmm...tough luck, kid, " said the old guy, "You only get one kick at the can. Most people wish for something a little snazzier than a lost set of keys."

"What do you mean wish?"

"I asked you to think about something you needed or that made you happy."

"Like, you're a genie?"

He snorted. "Genies are fairy tales. I just grant wishes."

"Well can't I get a do-over? I didn't know I was wishing. Why didn't you tell us?"

"Because then people get all self-conscious and want impossible stuff like world peace or for all the children to be happy. This way, people get what they actually want. Or some people get keys." He shrugged. "Anyhow, thank you for your patronage. I have to go fix the the projector. Bloody thing's broken down again."

I moved out of that apartment at the end of the school year and into a house closer to campus with a bunch of other guys, but before that I started hanging out at the Bijou sometimes.

The girl's name was Alice and her grandfather let her work there some afternoons when she cut classes.

"So your grandpa's a magician?" I asked her once.

"Something like that."

"And you're, what, his apprentice?"

"Nah. Grandpa says I don't have the knack for magic. He says it's because mom married an actuary. He thinks I should become a dentist."

Her grandfather owned the Bijou because watching movies engaged peoples' imaginations and made magic easier. Plus, he liked movies.

I used to send my friends there sometimes, although I didn't tell them about the wish thing, mostly out of spite because all I got for my wish was a set of keys. I still use the little bobblehead Snoopy though.

11 responses to "The Academy Bijou "

Ruth wrote: Friday, 07 Aug 2009 23:11 Ehee, that was cute. Glad to see you are still using FFF when you get the time! I wonder what I would have thought of... its a neat concept! Still wondering what did happen to his keys at the exam, I probably would have just sighed and walked back to get them.

KjM wrote: Saturday, 08 Aug 2009 00:38 That'll teach him not to pay attention. :) I liked the story but then, I'm far too fond of a little magic mixed with my reality. Well told.

Karen wrote: Saturday, 08 Aug 2009 00:44 I missed these! And I really liked this one, it made me laugh out loud!

Laura Eno wrote: Saturday, 08 Aug 2009 00:44 That was great! Thanks and welcome to #fridayflash. I hope you write more for it.

Ryan wrote: Saturday, 08 Aug 2009 15:40 Excellent little piece. I love the idea of movies making magic happen in a literal sense as well as the metaphorical one it's often described as.

dan powell wrote: Sunday, 09 Aug 2009 04:16 Neat narrative voice. I miss the old run down cinemas we used to have. Enjoyable stuff. welcome to #fridayflash. Looking forward to reading more of your work :)

2mara wrote: Monday, 10 Aug 2009 11:45 They turned our old theatre into an office supply store (blasphemy)many years ago. The large sign still sits above it's awning, "Westland" I am extremely bitter... still. I enjoyed your story, and I too have a weakness for magic ;-) ~2

J. M. Strother wrote: Monday, 10 Aug 2009 22:44 Neat story, Dana. I loved the "one kick at the can." What a wasted wish. That's just precious. Welcome to the #fridayflash. Hope to see more from you in the weeks to come. Love the top banner art too, by the way. :) ~jon

Stephen wrote: Monday, 10 Aug 2009 22:45 Dumb luck, wishing for keys. That's about how it goes for many of us. Thanks for sharing, and welcome to #FlashFriday,

Sheila wrote: Friday, 14 Aug 2009 10:53 I really enjoyed this one! Made me feel I should pay more attention to what people are actually saying.

Jenny wrote: Friday, 14 Aug 2009 12:38 Hee, I really like this one! Pretty much going to second everything everybody else has said. You do an awesome job at magical realism, and I really like the narrative voice and blah blah blah ramble blah.

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