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Hubble Over Slurpees
Friday, 14 Aug 2009 22:09

Here is another flash fiction piece for #fridayflash.

It's a lot more mellow than a lot of my last few stories, I think. It was nice to write something quiet. I was beginning to get scared I could only write weird stuff anymore :P

Hope you like it!




Hubble Over Slurpees

Tom and Sara lie in a field on a blanket they've spread out. The tops of their heads almost touching; Tom's legs are pointed west and Sara's, east.

"It's too bad we can't really see the Milky Way," Tom says. He reaches for his Slurpee, a mix of Orange Crush, Pepsi, 7-Up and vodka. For extra authenticity, he'd even stolen the vodka from his father's liquor cabinet when he dropped his daughter off for his parents to babysit. Just like old times he'd said to Sara as he took the bottle out from under his coat when he'd climbed back into her little Toyota.

"Too much light pollution, even this far away from town," Sara says.

"It's still gorgeous, though. So many more stars than in the city. And past the stars, billions of galaxies all shooting away from each other."

Sara says, "You know the universe didn't start expanding until Hubble discovered the red-shift in the thirties."

"What?" Tom tilts his head to look at Sara.

"Until then the Copernican model was on top. Newton, even Einstein, bought into it and the universe just sat there static."

They'd shared a joint after parking on the gravel road.

"So the universe didn't start expanding until Hubble decided it should?"

Sara sips her Slurpee — pure Dr. Pepper and vodka — and replies, "Yup. Hubble just believed it more than the other guys. He wanted it to be that way so bad."

"That's not how the world works."

"Of course it is, " she cups her hands behind her head. "Reality can't exist without imagination. It's more malleable than you think."

"And what about the aliens that must be out there amongst the trillions of stars? Our imagination created them? What do they think of that?"

"You'd have to ask them. I wonder if we'll see any shooting stars tonight?"

"We should have come out for Perseids in the summer."

"I was too busy, " she says.

"I know."

They lie in silence for a while watching the stars wheel overhead.

Sara asks, "How's Madison doing?"

"Pretty good. Grade one is a little intimidating, I think. But she had two friends over at her mother's last weekend so I guess she's making friends okay."

"Good to hear. She's a sweetie."

Later, when they're both done their Slurpees and the night is getting cooler, they lie against each other, Sara's back against Tom's chest. After a little while Tom clears his throat in an embarrassed way and pulls his hips away from her.

Sara giggles and then says, "Tom, I'd love to, you know I would. But I can't right now."

"I know. That part of the male anatomy has a mind of its own." After a moment he adds, "Do you really believe that about Hubble, that the world is so dependent on our imagination?"

"I think I do. Isn't it a wonderful way to think about the world?"

"So if we believed enough in a cure, you think it would happen for you?"

"Could be. But maybe what I really want to believe in is an afterlife. That might be the more interesting possibility."

Tom doesn't know what to say to that, and so he doesn't say anything else. Eventually, the two of them doze off under the stars.

8 responses to "Hubble Over Slurpees "

Laura Eno wrote:
Friday, 14 Aug 2009 22:27

Very thought provoking piece - quiet, sad and hopeful.

Imagination certainly rules in a writer's mind.



Victoria wrote:
Friday, 14 Aug 2009 22:42

That was really lovely. I especially enjoyed the character's conversation about Hubble vs. Copernicus - you have a real gift for putting funny, intelligent dialogue into your characters' mouths in a way that is a delight to read. The ending was touching and bittersweet.

I'm glad you're on the F3 bandwagon! 'Tis fun!



chris chartrand wrote:
Friday, 14 Aug 2009 23:28

Your dialogue is so natural. A sad tale, this but I liked it. Nice job.



KjM wrote:
Saturday, 15 Aug 2009 01:46

Bittersweet indeed. A wonderfully captured quiet moment between two and I loved that Tom had no answer to Sara's take on what she'd "believe into reality".

Your dialogue is great. Re-reading it, I was caught by

"...I wonder if we'll see any shooting stars tonight?"

"We should have come out for Perseids in the summer."

"I was too busy, " she says.

"I know."

It, once we catch the notion of "cure" later is seen to give us a hint of what she might have been busy with over the Summer. You have a light touch - well done.




2mara wrote:
Saturday, 15 Aug 2009 10:03

I really liked this, and it got me to thinking. We have imagined many things and made them real... some things are just waiting for us to imagine.

Great story!
~2





J. M. Strother wrote:
Saturday, 15 Aug 2009 22:23

Really nice story, mellow but with a kick. Very touching ending.

So sorry I missed you on Friday. Slipped right by me. I've added you to the write up.
~jon



Stephen wrote:
Monday, 17 Aug 2009 20:18

You did a fine job filling the reader in on the backstory without the dialogue sounding dull. It truly felt natural, like we were just sitting close by listening to two people talk. Thank you for sharing.



dan powell wrote:
Monday, 24 Aug 2009 05:16

Great use of present tense to highlight your theme. These two are, by necessity, very in the now. Heartbreaking and heart-warming in equal measure.





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