I am thinking that I need to start writing some more serious stories. Or at least less silly/ridiculous ones. I don't want to get branded as the class clown for Friday Flash :P Having said that, I think I know what I'm writing next week and silly is on the docket once again.

I also need to start writing earlier so I have time for edits and rewrites. I'm always giving you guys rough drafts that I barely remember to spellcheck...

---

Horrific Premiums

The happy looking couple shares a laugh while mild, forgettable jazz plays in the restaurant. They're dressed as though they both went straight to supper after work. Business dress; the man's tie is pulled loose. They lean in to each other over their plates of largely untouched food.

The woman asks, "Have you talked to Tom and Sally lately?"

The man stiffens and stares down at his wine glass for a brief moment.

"You haven't heard? Zombie outbreak. They lost everything. Their entire town was overwhelmed and they had to move to a county. Their kids had to change schools."

The woman's hand flies to her mouth.

Her companion shakes his head, his brow creased, "Do you have zombie insurance?"

She responds, "I-I've never really thought about it. Zombies always seemed more like a Nebraska problem."

"They say these days that zombie outbreaks can happen anywhere-"

"Cut!"

The director walks out from behind the cameras. His hands buried in his curly hair.

"I said we were trying to sell zombie insurance here, not that you were supposed to act like zombies. Could I get a teeny bit of emotion out of you two, please? For me?"

The male actor rolls his eyes. "I'm just not feeling it. What if zombies attacked the restaurant during the commercial? That would drive home the message."

"Are you a script writer? Are you being paid to write scripts? No, you're being paid to look grave and convince her," — he jabs a finger toward the other actor &mdash "That she's a fucking idiot if she doesn't buy Sun Life's new zombie insurance product. Is that alright with you?"

The actor nods, looking grumpy.

The director spins on his heel and walks back towards his perch.

"And someone get some fresh salads on their plates. Those are starting to wilt."

The woman pulls out a mirror and mutters, "I'd never buy their zombie insurance anyway. The premiums are ridiculous."

*** Author's note ***

I guess this is sort of a sequel to one of my first Fabulous F**king Fiction efforts, Aftermath

19 responses to "Horrific Premiums "

Marisa Birns wrote: Friday, 04 Dec 2009 13:36 LAUGHING! Especially at this: "I said we were trying to sell zombie insurance here, not that you were supposed to act like zombies." Enjoyed it very much. Nothing wrong with being the class clown. They usually grow up to make millions!

Victoria A wrote: Friday, 04 Dec 2009 13:45 Nice one, Dana! And I for one really like the title :D

Skycycler wrote: Friday, 04 Dec 2009 16:12 Don't write serious stuff - this is BRILLIANT! My favourite line: "I-I've never really thought about it. Zombies always seemed more like a Nebraska problem." Not turning this into a book would be a crime.

Kylie wrote: Friday, 04 Dec 2009 18:47 For the first few lines the only thing I could think was "man this sounds like a commercial". Hilarious! xD And I second more silly/ridiculous stories!

Deanna Schrayer wrote: Friday, 04 Dec 2009 19:20 A Nebraska problem - HA! That is such a great line. No, Dana, please don't write serious stuff. This is just too good.

Elsa wrote: Friday, 04 Dec 2009 19:44 I've been a little out of it lately. This has reminded me that I want to catch up on the posts I missed the last few Fridays. :) Thanks for writing! -elsa

Kim Batchelor wrote: Friday, 04 Dec 2009 19:55 This is hysterical! Keep writing like this and I'll be your biggest fan.

Lauren Cude wrote: Friday, 04 Dec 2009 21:28 I'm with the others on the Nebraska line :) Brilliant!

Michelle wrote: Saturday, 05 Dec 2009 08:29 Hahaha very funny - well done.

mazzz_in_Leeds wrote: Saturday, 05 Dec 2009 08:35 Do serious stuff if you want, but please don't deprive us of the non-serious stuff, because it's brilliant! Great fun :)

Deb wrote: Saturday, 05 Dec 2009 10:34 Love it! Keep up the humor writing -- don't change a thing!

Louise Dragon wrote: Saturday, 05 Dec 2009 10:42 Great stuff! I don't think there is ever too much humor in our world! --Still laughing in Maine!

Diana wrote: Saturday, 05 Dec 2009 11:26 I like this one, it isn't rushed at all, and it is very true of the insurance company.

Sam wrote: Saturday, 05 Dec 2009 12:25 LMAO!!! Sheer brilliance! :)

Carrie Cleaver wrote: Saturday, 05 Dec 2009 12:33 So many great lines here. LOLing. :P Fantastic short.

Tony Noland wrote: Saturday, 05 Dec 2009 12:40 Bizarre and funny, a great combination. Nice work.

Laura Eno wrote: Saturday, 05 Dec 2009 12:42 Great stuff! I loved the Nebraska line as well. You do comedy extremely well!

2mara wrote: Saturday, 05 Dec 2009 20:16 I knew there was a reason I did't like Nebraska AND why I am not an actress. I can only successfully pull off "constipated" I don't know how well I will like serious, but I will read regardless! ~2

Chance wrote: Saturday, 05 Dec 2009 23:51 I second that "I said we were trying to sell zombie insurance here, not that you were supposed to act like zombies." Is a great line and the piece is a very enjoyable fridayflash.

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