I'm afraid this is another rerun. Err, Director's Cut. I had a fresh friday flash on the go, but I had a bit of a rabbit emergency yesterday (she's fine now, but had to spend the day in the hospital) so between the fretting and attending to her in the evening, I didn't get a chance to finish.

So! Once again you guys are getting a story I posted waaaaaay back in September of 2008. But it was already flash-sized and most of you won't have read it before.

Enjoy!

---

In The Beginning

The goddess stands on the brink holding her hands high over her head. She's naked; clothing will not even be conceived of for several millennia. She pauses for a moment, overwhelmed by a sheer sense of wonder over it all. By the sense of possibility. She is surrounded by a massive disc of dust and ice particles billions of kilometers across.

She is fighting back a grin as considers her Plan. The dust particles will coalesce into a star and planets whose orbits will leave her people scratching their heads for centuries, spurning them on to deeper and deeper knowledge. Nudging them closer to the divine. One day their urge to Know will drive them to build ships capable of exploring the other planets she will cause to form, and later the entire galaxy. But before then they will need to learn to work together, to cast aside petty differences. They will need harmony.

She spreads her arms wider and says in a voice meant to echo across the cosmos, "Let there be light!"

"But how much light?" comes a voice from behind her, "This is what I've been saying all along."

The goddess turns, struggling to keep a tremble of anger out of her voice.

"We've been through this already, at least three million times."

"Three million, seventeen thousand, four hundred and twelve," says the god who came up with math.

The goddess turns around to face the assembled committee of deities.

"The amount of heat and light generated by the star is dependent upon how much mass coalesces. We've discussed this over and over. I'm ready to begin."

She begins to turn back.

"But I'm still concerned about it," says the complainer, "My Rousettus spinalatus prefers the night. How many hours of night are there going to be on this planet of yours?"

"Rousettus spinalatus?" asks another god.

"Bats."

"You invented Latin just so to name your creatures?"

"'Bat' sounds so...pedestrian."

"In any case," the goddess says, rolling her eyes toward the soon-to-exist heavens, "There will be plenty of nighttime for your animals. If you'd bothered to show up for our meetings on the plant's axial tilt you would know that-"

"It was so boring though. I don't care about orbits, I care about Rousettus spinalatus, the entire order Chiroptera, really."

The goddess clenches her hands into fists. "I don't think this is the time to-"

"You know, now that we're reopening discussions I have some ideas about plate tectonics that really have some merit."

"We are not reopening discussions, we-"

"It's just that I've come up with a way to transform decaying organic matter into a useful, abundant fuel."

She shakes her head slowly.

"I think it's worth hearing him out."

The goddess turns back to the cosmic scene arrayed before her. The dust swirls in its massive arcs, needing only the slightest divine nudge to drive it into action. A mere billion years later life would begin to sprout. True life, not the simulacrums they could conjure into existence.

She sighs, creating the concept of sighing then and there. She casts her gaze far and wide as the other gods begin to argue over how many moons the planet should have, which then turns into a fight over tides.

"There must be a less crowded corner of the universe."

16 responses to "In The Beginning "

Marisa Birns wrote: Friday, 18 Dec 2009 16:01 Hah! Great! You do know how to write the humor. Not too little, not too much...it's just right. Am afraid of bats. But wouldn't be afraid of Rousettus spinalatus! Very fun read.

Deirdre M. Murphy wrote: Friday, 18 Dec 2009 16:14 :-D Rules-lawyers are all alike!

Laura Eno wrote: Friday, 18 Dec 2009 18:48 Lovely! It's amazing she ever got it going. So, it's the gods who invented the never-ending parade of planning meetings, huh? Full of good humor!

Simon C. Larter wrote: Saturday, 19 Dec 2009 11:00 Ha! Hahahaha! I like it. Very fun. :)

Sam wrote: Saturday, 19 Dec 2009 11:02 Loved it! The committee sounds sooooo much like the people I used to work with, it's not wonder we never got anything done!

Louise Dragon wrote: Saturday, 19 Dec 2009 11:54 Well written story. I enjoyed it!

chris chartrand wrote: Saturday, 19 Dec 2009 13:19 Divinely inspired bureaucracy, makes sense to me. Fun read.

PJ Kaiser wrote: Saturday, 19 Dec 2009 23:37 Very cute story. Definitely makes you wonder how all these things were decided upon! ;-)

mazzz_in_Leeds wrote: Monday, 21 Dec 2009 07:18 Fabulous fiction indeed! Great concept, and highly amusing :)

Deanna Schrayer wrote: Monday, 21 Dec 2009 10:38 What a fun story Dana! You do humor so well, especially in the dialogue. I can just see them all putting up their dukes now. Thanks for reposting this - great work!

Eric J. Krause wrote: Monday, 21 Dec 2009 10:47 Hehe, very good. The bureaucracy started early, I see. Not that I'm surprised.

David G Shrock wrote: Monday, 21 Dec 2009 13:56 Great balance of bureaucracy humor with sprinkling of easy to digest science references. I especially like star creation description. Fun piece.

Tony Noland wrote: Monday, 21 Dec 2009 14:28 I've been in committee meetings like this. Nicely done.

Kim Batchelor wrote: Monday, 21 Dec 2009 16:34 Like Marissa I am afraid of bats but also appreciate them greatly (except for the vampires; I am traveling to Costa Rica soon and would like them to keep their distance, or me mine.) This is exactly the mix of humor/satire that I love, the melding of science and mystery. Very well done.

Chance wrote: Tuesday, 22 Dec 2009 07:22 "You invented Latin just so to name your creatures?" Best line all week ! Good stuff

Elizabeth Ditty wrote: Tuesday, 22 Dec 2009 13:44 Haha, this was great fun. :-) Reminds me a bit of the book "Gods Behaving Badly" -- sort of a prequel almost! Good work, and thanks for sharing!

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