I had thought of this as the premise for a nanowrimo novel a couple of years ago, but I think that ended up being the year I attempted a "serious story".

I hope this doesn't come across as too cynical. I was shooting for ridiculous rather than cynical.

---

Status

1.

Belinda Carmichael stubbed out her cigarette in the mound of butts and ash that had been growing on the desk in her study. Her housekeeper had come attempted to enter the room to empty it and do some other tidying, but had been chased out by Belinda's screams and a hurled highball glass.

She reached for another cigarette, hands shaking, but was interrupted by the phone ringing. She was momentarily paralyzed; she'd been waiting so long for the call that she almost didn't know what to do. But on the fourth ring, she was able to answer. She rehearsed what was she was going to say to them and her calm, professional tone.

Instead, almost in a panic, she blurted into the receiver, "I'll pay anything. Whatever you want. Just give me back my babies. Myron? You idiot, why would you call on this line? You knew I'd be waiting by the phone. No, of course they haven't called. Do you think that's how I always answer the phone? Christ! No, I don't know what Carla is planning for supper. Yes, I'll tell her you feel like turkey sandwiches."

She slammed the phone down, lit a cigarette and this time took an angry puff.

2.

She stomped down the hallway and passed her husband's study. Inside was her younger daughter, Melanie, school books and a half-eaten sandwich piled on the desk.

"What are you doing in here?" Belinda nearly shouts. "Why don't you go out to a park or something?"

"I'm studying. I have a calc quiz tomorrow."

"You should go to the library."

"Mom, at school they told us it's safest to stay home right now."

Belinda rolled her eyes.

"They would tell you that."

3.

Her husband came in the front door with the day's newspaper and a deep frown.

"What is it?" Belinda asked. She had been waiting for him by the front door, sitting on the bottom stair of the staircase that spiraled up to the second floor of their house.

"The Spiegelmans' son was snatched after swim practice this morning. I heard from Tom."

"The Spiegelmans? They don't even clear seven digits. Why their little bastard?"

"The McKinley's I can understand. Maybe even the Rothman's. But the Spiegelman's?" Myron shook his head.

She stood up, wobbled a little and then said, "This is all your fault. You wanted the Bentley because it didn't look so flashy. Of course they're not going to kidnap our children when the get dropped off in a piece of shit like that. I won't be able to show my face at the club. People are going to think we're poor."

Myron gathered his wife into his arms.

"Oh honey. We're definitely next. They can't possibly think the Marland's are richer than we are."

"Maybe I'll send Melanie out for another bike ride."

22 responses to "Status "

shannon esposito wrote: Friday, 22 Jan 2010 10:51 LOL! No, not cynical at all. Actually, quite funny :-)

Marisa Birns wrote: Friday, 22 Jan 2010 10:56 Quite funny! I live not too far away from an area where people like Myron and his wife buy their houses and drive their flashy cars. Which, of course, rules out Bentleys, heh.

Laurita wrote: Friday, 22 Jan 2010 10:59 Probably cheaper than a nanny. :)

Melissa wrote: Friday, 22 Jan 2010 12:56 Oh my god, I loved the twist. The sick thing? I can totally see someone thinking like this (although I hope not trying to make it happen!).

CJ wrote: Friday, 22 Jan 2010 13:06 Ha!! This is a fun romp through some Twilight Zone-ish thinking. Excellent :)

David G Shrock wrote: Friday, 22 Jan 2010 13:38 Ridiculous, I say in a supportive way. Comes across nice. I like the humor.

Laura Eno wrote: Friday, 22 Jan 2010 14:56 Nice, ridiculous romp. :) But you're probably not too far off target...

Olivia Tejeda wrote: Friday, 22 Jan 2010 16:14 This was f**king fabulous! What a vile woman Belinda is. I'm glad you re-worked it for friday flash. ~ Olivia

mazzz_in_Leeds wrote: Saturday, 23 Jan 2010 07:36 Ridiculous and highly believable!!

Eric J. Krause wrote: Saturday, 23 Jan 2010 17:20 Outrageous. Gotta keep up with the McKinleys, no matter what. Very good story!

Chance wrote: Sunday, 24 Jan 2010 03:56 Brilliant, - ones got to keep up with the Jones'es after all, otherwise it wil lower the tone of the entire neighbourbood. Now, don't go and get yourself kidnapped Winthorpe, otherwise I'll ground you for a month ... Great Stuff

Kylie wrote: Sunday, 24 Jan 2010 23:26 Hahaha, guess those gated communities work a little too well for some people. (I just realized how I've been falling behind on reading your FF stories! D:)

Michelle wrote: Monday, 25 Jan 2010 03:55 LOL funny! love a good twist :)

trev wrote: Monday, 25 Jan 2010 09:46 I can see the bumper sticker now: "Your kid's an honours student - so what? MINE was kidnapped." I really enjoyed this.

Cascade Lily wrote: Monday, 25 Jan 2010 15:56 Fancy 'only' driving a Bentley. The nerve!

Chrys wrote: Monday, 25 Jan 2010 20:48 OMG hilarious! I love that she's preparing a speech for kidnappers who haven't yet kidnapped her child. I see this piece as not cynical but a great and wonderfully ridiculous overexaggeration, which is something I appreciate :)

Estrella Azul wrote: Tuesday, 26 Jan 2010 14:23 Definitely not cynical, I also found this so so funny! Great story :)

Estrella Azul wrote: Tuesday, 26 Jan 2010 14:31 Definitely not cynical, I also found this so so funny! Great story :)

Estrella Azul wrote: Tuesday, 26 Jan 2010 14:34 Sorry about that, didn't mean to duplicate the comment. I have to add though that I love your banner photo! Especially enjoy the bunny loving the cable, my pet bunny Tapsi does that too. She ruined at least 3 cables (not laptop ones fortunately) up until now and we've learned our lesson, no more cables on the floor or anywhere near her reach :P

Dana wrote: Tuesday, 26 Jan 2010 23:25 Thanks Estrella! Yeah, my bunny (LEM) has gone through a few laptop power cords. She likes to chew the most expensive ones to replace...

Peter Etherington wrote: Wednesday, 27 Jan 2010 08:58 Great story! Kidnapping's the new must-have fashion accessory. Enjoyably perverse!

David Masters wrote: Friday, 29 Jan 2010 14:02 Brilliant laugh out loud ending. I enjoyed how you split this into three chapters - makes me feel like I'm reading a mini-novel.

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