weekly irregular dose of fabulous1 fiction
Love's Labour Something, Something
Friday, 26 Feb 2010 14:34
This week is a sequel to last week's Love Is Complicated. I figured the concept was good enough to squeeze a few more jokes out of it.
Next week: Dana Does SciFi! (I think, unless I come up with a better idea than what I have in mind)
Love's Labour Something, Something
Cupid sat in the passenger seat, head in his hands, rocking slowly back and forth.
"I don't see what you're freaking out about," Loki said.
"You ran over her cat. Her cat!"
"You said you wanted them broken up," he shrugged.
"You're supposed to be the god of mischief. The best you can come up with is to run over her cat? Did you notice the part where the first thing she did was run over to David's apartment. Does that sound like they're breaking up?"
"I figured she would think her fella did it."
"Hey, what do I know about mortal love? When I wanna get some I turn into a horse and&emdash;"
"Stop. Just stop. If you wanted to frame someone for killing a cat, why would you use this van?"
"No one ever wants to test drive it so it wasn't like I was going to miss out on a sale. While helping out a friend I might add. No one buys babies like these anymore. Except occasionally my relatives."
Loki owned a used car lot. Times had been tough for the Norse pantheon since Ragnarok, that great metaphysical downsizing a few
centuries back and they had to make ends meet where they could. The van featured, on its side panel, a gigantic airbrushed valkyrie wearing a bikini and riding a wolf. A full moon in the background.
Loki snapped his fingers.
"We can burn down her apartment. Being homeless, filling out insurance papers. It's gotta put strain on any relationship."
"No more violence! Have you go anything else?"
Loki ran a hand over his heavily-producted hair.
"I could seduce her. She's hot, right?"
Cupid looked up from his hands and thought about it.
"A seduction. You know, that's not a bad idea at all."
Cupid glanced at his watch.
"You can go up now and, uh, work your magic."
"Her boyfriend's gone?" Loki said after spritzing some breath freshener into his mouth.
"He's just leaving now."
The front door to Simone's apartment building opened and David walked out.
"Time to give that little valkyrie some of Loki's sugar," the Norse deity said and set out walking. Cupid shuddered.
As Loki was about to cross paths with David, Cupid raised his bow and shot an arrow into Loki's back.
Loki stopped short in his tracks.
"Well hey there," he said to David.
"Sorry, buddy," Cupid said quietly.
Later, back the office, Cupid sighed as he stamped "closed" on the David-Simone case file. It'd been a long day and he was looking
forward to a glass of wine, and maybe he'd grab a takeout gyro on the way home. He mobile phone rang again and glancing at the display he saw it was Loki calling again. Cupid tapped the button to silence the phone.
On some level, as a former god of mischief, he must appreciate the whole situation, Cupid thought.
13 responses to "Love's Labour Something, Something "
Friday, 26 Feb 2010 15:04
You are so bad - your place in Valhalla is in jeopardy!
It struck me while reading this - you and Laura Eno, should definitely hook up - professionally, of course. The gods wouldn't know what hit them!
G.P. Ching wrote:
Friday, 26 Feb 2010 18:05
Funny! Yes, I can see the Laura Eno parallel although in a completely original way.
Couple typos-"No more violence! Have you go anything else?" should be got anything.
"Later, back the office," should be back at the office.
Saturday, 27 Feb 2010 06:14
Very amusing :)
Saturday, 27 Feb 2010 07:07
*eeeeheeeheeee!* I love it! What a fantastic twist, well done!
Marisa Birns wrote:
Saturday, 27 Feb 2010 07:17
You are the master at the humor writing!
Really like the Cupid/Loki pairing.
And the last sentence made me laugh out loud!
As a former god of mischief, indeed. :)
I like what the others suggested. You and Laura collaborating on a story. Would be hilarious.
Laura Eno wrote:
Saturday, 27 Feb 2010 07:32
Loved your twist! I wonder what Loki might try next, since his call went unanswered. :)
shannon esposito wrote:
Saturday, 27 Feb 2010 08:02
Oh, bad bad Cupid! LOL Soooo funny though!
Christian Bell wrote:
Saturday, 27 Feb 2010 08:06
Funny! Loki owning a used car lot is classic. He must live in my neck of the woods.
Saturday, 27 Feb 2010 10:41
Cupid seems to have stolen all of Loki mischief! (Which makes me wonder.. why do people I know keep killing off cats in stories?) I'm loving the playing with gods story lines :D
And that van would be pretty epic!
Jared Branch wrote:
Saturday, 27 Feb 2010 11:15
Am I the only one that imagines Cupid as wearing a diaper and floating around with his arrows? Hopefully that isn't the case. Amusing story :)
Carrie Clevenger wrote:
Saturday, 27 Feb 2010 19:01
This was funny, but Loki got his. Really got his. LOL!
Sunday, 28 Feb 2010 06:12
I nodded at "On some level, as a former god of mischief, he must appreciate the whole situation, Cupid thought."
I was thinking the same thing. Great flash :)
mazzz in Leeds wrote:
Tuesday, 02 Mar 2010 11:01
When you find yourself at the Pearly Gates, Loki will be waiting for you with a baseball bat :D
Well funny as usual, and great last line!