Hmm...it's been a while hasn't it? This idea popped into my head last night and I decided to go with it.

I asked a few people on MSN what their favourite foods were and "seafood pasta" was the answer that seemed to have the most comedic potential.

---

Seafood Pasta

1.

The Devil runs his hand over his widow's peak and exhales. A little puff of smoke comes out of his nostrils.

"For real? That's it? That's all you want?"

Maggie shrugs. "Greed isn't my sin. Where do I sign?"

"You're sure you don't want to be set up as a model? Or a rock star?"

"Nope."

"Political power is huge with women these days."

Maggie shakes her head.

"Aunt Sue's seafood pasta recipe," she taps her finger on the table, "The one with the cream sauce."

The diner they're in is mostly deserted. In their booth in the corner away from the counter, Maggie and the Devil are largely ignored by the waitress who's thumbing through a magazine. The Devil takes a sip of his diet cola. "Now don't get me wrong, I like an easy sale as much as the next guy, but selling your soul for one recipe? I could make you the greatest chef in history. You could have your own TV show."

"I'm a plenty good cook already, thank you very much. Look, do we have a deal or do I have to take my business somewhere else?"

"Alright, alright. Am I gonna say no to a bargain soul?"

He slaps a single page down onto the table and retrieves a ballpoint pen from his jacket.

"I thought it'd be thicker," Maggie says as she takes the pen and scribbles out her name. She gives the text only a cursory glance.

"Nah, simple is the way to go. The more you write, the more likely you're going to add a loophole and let a client weasel out. Say, how did you know your Aunt Sue was with me anyhow?"

"No one who goes through that many husbands gets into Heaven."

2.

Maggie's seafood pasta is a smash at her big family get together. She's sitting near the head of the table, a few seats down from her Nana.

"Oh, Maggie," says Aunt Bea, "this is fabulous. I didn't think anyone could recreate Sue's cream sauce."

"Sue's in heaven, complaining to St. Lawrence that you stole her recipe, mark my words," Nana says to Maggie.

"I wouldn't count on it," Maggie mutters to herself, and snickers.

Maggie's sister Lynne, though, is sitting a few seats down. She's resting her head on her fist and pushing a noodle around in the pool of cream sauce. She was Aunt Sue's favourite and had always expected to inherit the recipe.

3.

After dinner, Maggie is in the kitchen washing dishes. She finishes scrubbing a plate and hands it to the Devil, who gifts it a quick wipe with a towel and puts it on the stack.

"So this is all a revenge thing?"

"Lynne chopped the head off my favourite stuffed animal when we were little. And in high school she stole my boyfriend by having bigger boobs and being able to buy beer. And that's just the tip of the iceberg."

"Still, your soul for a bit of petty vengeance?"

"I've got, what, thirteen years to rub it in her face?" She hands the Prince of Darkness another plate. "And I was hell-bound anyhow. I'm gay. But let's keep that on the low down, I haven't told my family yet."

The Devil nods.

"Well unlike that other place, we're definitely an equal opportunity afterlife."

12 responses to "Seafood Pasta "

John C. Wiswell wrote: Thursday, 06 May 2010 23:22 "Say, how did you know your Aunt Sue was with me anyhow?" "No one who goes through that many husbands gets into Heaven." Hahaha! Funny work.

Carrie Clevenger wrote: Thursday, 06 May 2010 23:33 Wow! Welcome back! Pleasure to read your work. This was funny as heck. Love the pact and the closing dialogue. Please write more often!

Christina wrote: Thursday, 06 May 2010 23:38 This was fun. I love the Devil doing the dishes. Great work!

Jen Brubacher wrote: Friday, 07 May 2010 04:27 *snort* I like it. And I like her.

Laura Eno wrote: Friday, 07 May 2010 07:28 The Devil helping with the dishes... Great!

Marisa Birns wrote: Friday, 07 May 2010 07:29 Adore that the Devil drinks diet soda! Very amusing piece! Welcome back. ;)

Natalia wrote: Friday, 07 May 2010 08:29 Revenge is a dish best served hot, with seafood? The devil is great, drinking diet cola, trying to give her a better deal, helping her do dishes. I love how she thought there'd be more paperwork. It's usually portrayed that way in movies and such, and the person finds a loophole. Nice twisting of things! : )

Katherine Nabity wrote: Friday, 07 May 2010 10:03 My favorite line? "Look, do we have a deal or do I have to take my business somewhere else?" I cackled so loud I almost woke my husband.

marc nash wrote: Friday, 07 May 2010 10:42 This was utterly charming (in a sneaky, revenge is best served cold sort of way). Liked the comment that 'no one who goes through that many husbands is in heaven" Nice. marc nash

Eric J. Krause wrote: Saturday, 08 May 2010 10:02 Good one! At least she accepts her fate. And, hey, if you sell your soul to the devil, he sticks around to help with the dishes? That's a nice perk...

2mara wrote: Saturday, 08 May 2010 12:59 HA! Good fun! I kinda like this devil character... Handy fellow ;-) ~2

~Tim wrote: Monday, 10 May 2010 20:11 You're right. Seafood Pasta is funny.

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